About a year ago I became really interested in self-development and it didn’t start in the most obvious of places. Although I’d had a couple of “life events” which had made me re-evaluate some aspects of my life, the light bulb moment actually came from reading a dating book!! Weird right?
I’ve never been much of a reader in the past and that’s because, without sounding like I’m playing a miniature violin or gaining a sympathy vote in an X-Factor audition, I’m actually a little bit dyslexic. Now don’t get me wrong – I can read and write, but when it came to reading a book I would often skip lines, get words back to front, read something a little different than it was intended to be read (this has lead to some quite humorous moments) and therefore, I would get a few pages in and have no idea what I’d just read and so gave up… it was hard work and wasn’t fun. That all changed when a friend of mine introduced me to audio books!!! Literally life changing and I’ve now found my love of books. I’ll listen to them when I’m getting ready, cooking, cleaning and especially when I’m making my candles. All the times when you usually won’t be able to read a hardback, I can listen to a book. Amazing times!!!
Now, I’ve read a couple of dating books for several reasons. Firstly, people fascinate me and even more so – people and relationships; I could literally read about them forever. Secondly, I was giving out a lot of relationship advice to friends and thought ‘I probably should check I’m not ruining their lives with misinformed rhetoric’ and thirdly, and probably the main reason, was that my own love life was less than satisfactory.
A lot of the dating books I had read told you what to say, how to be and what to do in order to get an amazing man which didn’t quite sit right with me, but this book was a little different. Although it talked about these things as well, it also focused on building yourself up to be the best version of yourself, taking ownership of your life and living the life you want to live, one that’s full and exciting. It spoke of truly believing you are deserving and worthy of the love life you want and to face the fear of rejection and not be afraid to take risks. By fulfilling these aspects, you become happier and more fulfilled in your own life and therefore, more in control of it and what you want. This in turn makes you more attractive, draws more positivity into your life and makes it easier for you to walk away when a relationship, or any aspect of your life, is no longer serving you. This book really resonated with me and it was that light-bulb moment, as what I was reading didn’t just apply to my love life but to my whole life.
Throughout my years of working in A&E as a nurse, I’ve met so many different people from all walks of life and watched them deal with illness, injury and life-changing events. People’s reactions to these vary massively and it has always fascinated me how different people deal with similar situations in very different ways. Granted, A&E is quite an extreme area to observe this from, as most of the events that have lead people to A&E have been unpredictable and unexpected, which of course puts their vulnerability and coping mechanisms to the test. However, from my own observation, the more of a positive person you are with a ‘can do’ attitude, the better you are at dealing with these unforeseen events as opposed to people with a ‘can’t do’ attitude, where no problem has a solution. This may sound obvious, but why can a man faced with his wife’s terminal cancer, the recent death of his son and imminent bankruptcy have a more positive outlook on life and better ability to cope with his current situation than the twenty-one-year-old woman whose life is apparently ‘over’ because you’ve told her that she can’t wear her shellac nails for a few weeks whilst she treats her fungal nail infection.
Peoples outlook on life has a direct impact on how they deal with the curve balls it throws their way. Don’t misunderstand me, we will all have things happen to us that throw us completely off course and we must give ourselves time to be sad, to grieve and to deal with what we have been faced with, but it’s how we get back up that makes us. Unfortunately, in both my professional and personal life, I often come across people who just aren’t happy with the life they currently have, even before the major life event hits, making them feel sad and unfulfilled. I truly believe that whatever we are going through, we can all make small positive steps in the right direction.
What I want this blog to be is a light-hearted look into different methods, changes, little tweaks or other general stuff that you can implement in your life to make it happier and more positive. I’m no self-development guru and this will be as much my own self-development journey, so it will not be impractical or patronising advice.
One of the tasks I have set myself is to review those things people tell you to do that will ‘change your life’, as I’m skeptical about many of them. I will trial them over a four-week challenge and give you my honest feedback as to what they were like to implement in my everyday life and their pros and cons. Of course, not all that I try or talk about will work for you, but hopefully there will be a few things that you can pick up from this and if I can achieve just that, then that’s pretty awesome, right?
For anyone that’s interested, the dating book I read was Get The Guy By Matthew Hussey, a must read for any single female out there. I’ve also participated a lot in his online programs, which really compliment the content of the book and personally – I’ve loved them! I’d even recommend the programs for women currently dating or in a relationship as we can all learn something and, as I said before, its not just about dating.
My blog will be coming out every Tuesday and the first Tuesday of the month I will be reviewing my four-week challenge’s and posting an update on my forthcoming ones. This month, I am trying meditation, so at the beginning of May you can see how it worked out for me. Check in on facebook for regular updates as well as my Instagram and twitter. Let me know what you think?